Having conversations about death and dying isnt something that a lot of us do in ordinary every day life unless we are forced to because someone we know is dying or in fact we are faced with he prospect ourselves.
Even writing this is filling me with dread and panic.
I am brought to this subject after having the opportunity to meet a wonderful lady called Amanda Blainey who has written a book on Death and holds regular death cafe's as well as having regular podcasts on the subject.
I am putting a link to Amanda's website and book at the bottom of this blog post.
Amanda really made me think and I suppose that is the point, she inspired me to want to learn more.
We discussed how well people plan for life and how this can affect their death.
I believe that there is a relevance to coaching.
Does how well you live your life and the quality of life that you live effect how well you will die?
People come to coaching for a variety of reasons, but usually it’s because they feel a lack of clarity, direction or need help with a certain area of their life such relationships, finances, career, regrets, fears or undealt with trauma. Tackling unhelpful behaviours and habits which can stem from trauma, upbringing or fixed patterns of beliefs and behaviours is another reason for coaching or counselling. Generally feeling unhappy or unfulfilled for some reason and not knowing why or what to do about it.
At the end of life sometimes it can be a hard and traumatic experience for those who haven’t prepared for their financial situation, planned ahead, have unfinished or unresolved business with family or friends, or haven’t done the things that they wanted to do in life, and therefore might find achieving a peaceful death difficult.
Is peace something we are all searching for? How do we find it?
Learning about ourselves and finding compassion for others who we have previously blamed and resented for something we percieved that they 'did to us' can bring us a new understanding and healing which can in turn lead to peace, and a feeling of healing and wholeness which in turn can help us live our lives from a much nicer place. Would it then follow that death would become a much more peaceful and easier experience?
Coaching can help to complete the circle and bring clarity, understanding and peace in our lives. This also gives us a completely different perspective, and approach to how we do life which will affect how we do death.
Two other things that come to my mind which I believe are relevant are responsibility and motivation.
Is how we take responsibility for ourselves in life linked to how we take responsibility for our own death? As a coach I am not responsible for my clients and indeed one of my main objectives is to find a way forward where my clients can take responsibility for themselves and take ownership of their own destiny.
For me thinking about death and dying motivates me to want to lead a more authentic, fuller and richer life, grabbing opportunity by the hands and not allowing anything or anyone stand in my way. The prospect of death clearly brings my life into sharp focus.